Ask Chaty - Episode 3

Welcome back. It’s been a while, so, maybe I shouldn’t be the one welcome\77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777 sorry, that was the cat. As I was saying… It’s been a while. I’m trying to get a back log of questions, however, with out anyone actually providing questions, that becomes quite difficult. But I digress. Let’s delve into the questions, shall we? We’ve got two questions from different brothers. Isn’t this exciting?

Question 1

What new events are going to happen with the chapter this year?

That is a very good question. We all know the standard ones: rush, initiation, alumni bar-b-que, etc. There are some new ones coming up. More information will be provided later in the semester from the Chapter’s AG. But to hold you over in the meantime, I’ll let you in on a small change to a yearly event. This year, on September 27, the alumni bar-b-que will now take place during Rush Week. This way prospective new members will have a chance to interact with us old people. This will be a great way for everyone to become familiar with the young guys and hopefully the young guys won’t mind us lurking around. (OK, lurking is a strong word… only like two of us lurk, the rest peer through windows.) The bar-b-que is not going to be at the normal place. It’s going to be at a local park and should include the four F's: food, fun, and games. (Crossing my fingers for kick-ball.)

Also, the Chapter has decided to team up with Theta Phi Alpha in an effort to raise $10,000 to support Glassboro High School. Later this summer, the Chapter will hash out some ideas and get the ball rolling. It should be exciting and will be a great way to get the Chapter’s name out there while working towards a great cause.

Keep on the look out for updates from the Chapter on any other activities. And before I forget, our 15 year anniversary is coming up in April. We hope to see everyone there!

Question 2

If you were to write and autobiography, what would the first sentence be? As a follow up, what would the last sentence be?

Well, it really depends on where I think the story should be begin. For instance if you want to start at the beginning, the first sentence would be, “It all started with a big bang.” Well, unless you’re one of those nutcase Earth creationists, which, if that’s the case, I guess the big bang would be when Adam and Eve did the biblical bah-chicka-wah-wah, while surrounded by apple trees and their pet Ankylosaurus. But that seems a couple billion years too long ago. Let’s bring this a little closer to present day.

“He saw her from across the Roy Rogers parking lot; maybe it was the 6 pack of Coors Banquet Beer that gave him encouragement, but there was something with the way the police lights glistened off the smoke from her Tareyton 100s that made him approach her.”

Nah, that’s a topic I really don’t feel like delving into. At least not without many years of psychological reprogramming.

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” Nope, that’s plagiarism.

“He was born with a mighty penis.” True, albeit, a bit boastful, or dare I say, cocky. (See what I did there.)

Well, I’m kind of at a loss here. So, I’ll just have Chris Cassino write my unofficial autobiography.

As for the last sentence, “He died doing what he loved, unfortunately for the rest of us, that meant the rest of the world would no longer have access to pants.”

Thank you all for taking the time to read these and keep the questions coming in. Don't forget about the twitter feed @AskChaty