Thursday, April 10, 2014

In Their Own Words: Dean Ialacci's "My time at the American Leadership Academy in Cabo 2014"


This week we will be starting a new series of blog posts called "In Their Own Words", where brothers of the chapter will share stories of their own experiences in Phi Kappa Psi.  This week's "In Their Own Words" is provided by undergraduate brother, Dean Ialacci '12.  Dean recently attended the American Leadership Academy in Cabo San Lucas and it sharing his experience from that adventure with all of us.  

We will post these stories on Fridays, when they are available, so it may not be an every week thing.  This first story is being posted today (on a Thursday) because we have no birthdays coming up this week, so I am posting this early to fill the void.  If you are interested in writing a detailed story like the one below, you are welcome to do so.  All that we ask is that you pick a topic that you can write in length about and is related to Phi Kappa Psi in some capacity, and share some pictures with the story.  Please try to write it exactly how you would like it to be posted on the blog.  We will also be reaching out to individual brothers about specific experiences from time to time.  If someone reaches out to you, we hope that you will choose to participate in this and provide the answers to any questions asked.  

"My time at the American Leadership Academy in Cabo 2014"
by Dean Ialacci '12

My time in Cabo was by far my favorite moment as a brother....I noticed a couple of key things about the culture and differences between home and Cabo:

First off, the business side. When you go downtown at night, paying full price for anything is unheard of. Negotiation is not only allowed, but expected. Whether it is on drinks, food, taxi, or more, it became a fun game to see who could get the best deal on something. And if a vendor didn't accept our offer? We went to the next one. While you can try this at home in New Jersey, it will hardly ever work, and you will certainly look like a jerk. You might be able to get away with it in smaller establishments, but try going into an Applebee's and telling them that their half-price appetizers aren't a good enough deal.

Second, the resort and ALA as a whole was unlike any atmosphere I have ever witnessed. There was energy in the air, happiness all around, and a certain willingness to help any brother with any obstacle--physical or emotional. There was drive to improve, both self and chapter. There was ambition to seek adventure, meet people, and open up like you never have before. That's not to say that atmosphere is completely lacking here at home, but I don't expect to ever witness it to that degree again. At home there's school, work, drama--a bunch of little things that you have to worry about that just aren't there in Cabo. The feeling of Brotherhood rivaled everything I could have imagined, and more.

One of the biggest things I took from this trip came from Coach (Scott, Executive Director of the ALA) Nady and his story about why he doesn't have bad days anymore. It's an incredibly personal and horribly sad story, but it gives you a new outlook on life, and why those little things don't really suck as much as you think. I know now that I would have to deal with a hell of a lot of stuff crashing around me before I ever tried to call it a bad day.

Another thing that really hit home was speaker Jim O'Connor's presentation on values. Looking at a list of about 50 personal values and trying to select 10 that you think define you is hard. Removing 4 of them and picking the 6 values that you really care about was even harder. It got worse when we had to narrow it down to our 4 most important values, and then one more--making us truly find which of our 3 values we hold closest to our hearts. I remember mine were Happiness, Respect, and Dependability; I don't think I'll forget them any time soon. Jim then followed this up with a story about touching a white picket fence. It was a training exercise held for military personnel where they were told that through this forest there was a yard with a white picket fence. There mission was to touch the white picket fence. When they scoffed at the idea, they were then told of the numerous dangers that lived in this forest. As they learned about the various animals
that could attack or kill them in the forest, they became nervous, but carried on. Something as simple as touching a fence starts to become a rather scary and dangerous ordeal. Jim relates this to life, and the values that each of us decided on. Our values are our respective white picket fences, and the dangerous animals are the temptations and distractions in life that can keep you from them. The story reminds me to always strive to uphold my values, no matter what comes my way.

A third concept that stuck with me was while hanging out with Paul Wineman for wine and cigars. What started as a casual chat turned into deeper conversation, and we were eventually presented with hypothetical moral dilemmas. Sometimes the answer was easy, but often it was not. Most of the situations had no right answer. The important part, though, was defending your reasoning. No matter which side you chose in any situation, Paul would question it and try to get us to flip--which was really embarrassing. This help teach us to stand up for ourselves and our reasoning, and realize whether or not our values from earlier in the week lined up with the answers we gave when presented with real life scenarios.

Without a doubt, our favorite chapter from the trip was our Long Beach State University, California Xi chapter. They had 11 guys there, some of which had gone to ALA before and were familiar with the programs and with downtown navigation. A few of them also spoke really excellent Spanish, which helped as well. We hung out with them by day and went crazy with them by night, and we all took turns looking out for one another. They're a fairly young chapter, having started about 4 years ago, but they have energy and drive like no other. They knew how to have fun and were truly respectful gentlemen, through and through. They even gave us some of their rush shirts at the end of the week and sang us their sweetheart song. Embarrassing, but still a lot of fun. We also had radically different stories to share about lives at home, ours from wintry New Jersey, theirs from balmy Southern California. These are men I would visit in a heartbeat, should I find myself in
SoCal soon.

Overall, the trip was amazing and exceeded my expectations in ways I could have never imagined. The trip even started out rough--we had to miss a day due to flight delays. My only regret is that I only had one chance to go, I can only hope to hold on to these memories forever. I know I will likely never get another opportunity like this through any company I work with, but I'm glad I made myself save the money and make the trip.

(For more info on ALA, or to donate, visit http://www.AmericanLA.org)

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